Why is it that no decision comes easy?
I'm seriously ridiculously inconsistent, & I've realized that friends/fam tend to have somewhat of a huge impact on my life. This whole tongue piercing b.s. is stressful. I want to get it NOW, cuz I know between now & school, it would be the perfect time to allow it to heal. But then my parents don't approve, my stepdad is in my corner (which is a HUGE plus) but my dad has these old conventional theories (tongue piercings = dirty smuts), as well as my whole entire spanish family. I can get it tomorrow, and deal w. the whole wrath of the devil, or i can wait 11 days until my birthday.
I know who I am, and a dirty smut I am not ! It's just gonna be soooo much stress trying to convince people to look at me the same. It's something I've ALWAYS wanted, but people tend to live in their own world & their own mentalities. How is it possible for me one day to be a young, independent & intelligent lady, and the next to be a "dirty smut" because of a metal barbell in my mouth?
I thank everyone before me who has given tongue piercings such a reputation, but hopefully I can create a new wave. (Highly unlikely ) lol.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Once a woman beater, always a woman beater?
So apparently Chris Brown is trying to make a comeback, and I heard a song of his entitled Changed Man, or something like that. Personally, I didn't like it, nor did I really try to pay much attention to it, it just didn't catch my attention at all.
I honestly have no idea what to feel for this kid anymore. I know what he did is part of his past, but does he still have to pay for it today? Can he not be allowed to move forward? Did he learn from his mistakes or is he secretly still the same person deep down?
To me it's ridiculously complicated. How do you not get your business mixed with your personal life when you're famous? I think Chris Brown is an amazing artist, but now what he did to Rihanna is always going to pull him back.
I think if Chris Brown makes amazing music, I would definitely listen to it. If he's not creeping through the music & beating me up personally, than I'll keep listening. He's had a lot of awesome hits that have become personal favorites of mine. I know a majority of people will look at him differently, but all in all he is a performer, and I'm sure he knows nothing else. So good luck to him & all his (future) groupys. ^_^
I honestly have no idea what to feel for this kid anymore. I know what he did is part of his past, but does he still have to pay for it today? Can he not be allowed to move forward? Did he learn from his mistakes or is he secretly still the same person deep down?
To me it's ridiculously complicated. How do you not get your business mixed with your personal life when you're famous? I think Chris Brown is an amazing artist, but now what he did to Rihanna is always going to pull him back.
I think if Chris Brown makes amazing music, I would definitely listen to it. If he's not creeping through the music & beating me up personally, than I'll keep listening. He's had a lot of awesome hits that have become personal favorites of mine. I know a majority of people will look at him differently, but all in all he is a performer, and I'm sure he knows nothing else. So good luck to him & all his (future) groupys. ^_^
Saturday, August 15, 2009
How many times now?
I can't even count how obsessed I am with this song & this performance.
I have SO much respect for people that do things differently & don't follow the crowd. MAJOR PROPS TO LADY GAGA!
I have SO much respect for people that do things differently & don't follow the crowd. MAJOR PROPS TO LADY GAGA!
First Day of My OFFICIAL Summer.
FINALLY! I did something besides stay home & sleep or go out & work. I went to the beach with angela ( who I haven't seen in what feels like forever) as well as some girls from high school. It was BLAZING hot, and we were definitely sweating bullets at Orchard Beach. Didn't really wanna go inside the water so we just laid out & gossiped. After a while Ang gets a call from her dad's girlfriend & we need to go racing home because her dad's gf locked herself out -_-
But when we got there it was like paradise. She has a pool with those layout floaties, and we just chilled there going in circles, which felt AMAZING. Ended the day with some dominoes & ice cream with whip cream which equals PURE HAPPINESS. It's a GREAT way to start off MY summer :) Even though it's only two weeks, I know it's gonna be productive ^_^
Tomorrow there's a family pool party, so I'll be there for a while & try to get some more color :)
But when we got there it was like paradise. She has a pool with those layout floaties, and we just chilled there going in circles, which felt AMAZING. Ended the day with some dominoes & ice cream with whip cream which equals PURE HAPPINESS. It's a GREAT way to start off MY summer :) Even though it's only two weeks, I know it's gonna be productive ^_^
Tomorrow there's a family pool party, so I'll be there for a while & try to get some more color :)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A Bunch of Nothing.
I've been up & down an emotional rollercoaster for almost a year now because it seems sooo difficult for me to accept change.I don't understand how people can be the best of friends, & the next its all hush hush don't tell anyone we're friends or we hangout.
What I'm referring to is how much people change once they're "in love". How now there's restrictions on the friendship, how you need 2 wonder whether or not its a good time to hit up your friend hoping that you're not interrupting anything. It's weird, because for example, my high school sweety (which is a girl lol) used to date a guy, and I didn't like him for reasons I can't remember, but I never felt like there wasn't a day where I couldn't hit her up, & I just wished that all of my friends were like that.
Then I have friends who've been like brothers to me, & all of a sudden their girlfriends get jealous when we hangout. I (stupidly) assume that once drama starts, my guy friends would easily choose me over their dramatic girlfriends, because for one, they've known me longer & basically I'm more permanent than any girlfriend (or so I thought). But of course, I made an ass of myself with these assumptions.
I'm the type of person, that if we're cool and really close, and a new person steps into the picture & for whatever reason chooses to not like my close friend and makes me have to decide, to me that's an easy decision. I would never put a boyfriend over a bestfriend in the sense that it puts my friendships in jeopardy. If he doesn't like one of my best friends, than that's HIS problem. I don't care how "in love" or obsessed I am about a guy, I hope that I never reach the day in which I allow a man to becomes the possessive controlling type that wants to shape out who I hang out with. I have the friends I have for a reason, & I could honestly care less what someone else thinks.
I've had people tell me I don't know what I would do unless I was in the situation, because I've never been in love, but the point of the matter is that either way, I always have to remember whose been there for me. If my significant other has LEGIT reasoning as to why he thinks I shouldn't be friends with someone, then maybe I'll take that into consideration, but I would never isolate myself 100% from my loved ones.
In reality, I know I'm the very jealous type, but I am not the person that vocalizes these thoughts. When I realize that another person has decided to come into the picture with another friend, I get upset, but I realize I automatically prepare myself to become second best. That whole transition for me is unbelievably hard. I guess it's just something I'm going to have to accept & come to terms with, one way or another.
On a brighter note! I only have 2 more days of work :D & then I get to enjoy summer, unless I get punished :x AY CARAMBA!
What I'm referring to is how much people change once they're "in love". How now there's restrictions on the friendship, how you need 2 wonder whether or not its a good time to hit up your friend hoping that you're not interrupting anything. It's weird, because for example, my high school sweety (which is a girl lol) used to date a guy, and I didn't like him for reasons I can't remember, but I never felt like there wasn't a day where I couldn't hit her up, & I just wished that all of my friends were like that.
Then I have friends who've been like brothers to me, & all of a sudden their girlfriends get jealous when we hangout. I (stupidly) assume that once drama starts, my guy friends would easily choose me over their dramatic girlfriends, because for one, they've known me longer & basically I'm more permanent than any girlfriend (or so I thought). But of course, I made an ass of myself with these assumptions.
I'm the type of person, that if we're cool and really close, and a new person steps into the picture & for whatever reason chooses to not like my close friend and makes me have to decide, to me that's an easy decision. I would never put a boyfriend over a bestfriend in the sense that it puts my friendships in jeopardy. If he doesn't like one of my best friends, than that's HIS problem. I don't care how "in love" or obsessed I am about a guy, I hope that I never reach the day in which I allow a man to becomes the possessive controlling type that wants to shape out who I hang out with. I have the friends I have for a reason, & I could honestly care less what someone else thinks.
I've had people tell me I don't know what I would do unless I was in the situation, because I've never been in love, but the point of the matter is that either way, I always have to remember whose been there for me. If my significant other has LEGIT reasoning as to why he thinks I shouldn't be friends with someone, then maybe I'll take that into consideration, but I would never isolate myself 100% from my loved ones.
In reality, I know I'm the very jealous type, but I am not the person that vocalizes these thoughts. When I realize that another person has decided to come into the picture with another friend, I get upset, but I realize I automatically prepare myself to become second best. That whole transition for me is unbelievably hard. I guess it's just something I'm going to have to accept & come to terms with, one way or another.
On a brighter note! I only have 2 more days of work :D & then I get to enjoy summer, unless I get punished :x AY CARAMBA!
Monday, August 10, 2009
College = Time for Changes.
I know I haven't written in a while, but that's because I've been annoyingly consumed with work, and plus I only have like 2 people that actually read my blog! Which means it's not that big of a loss now is it?
Lately, it's starting to really dawn on me that I'm actually going to college. Before I was all nonchalant about it, and now I'm like woah! But there's also several things I would like to change about myself, my lifestyle, my friends...
First off, I have been DYING to get my tongue pierced. My mother has NEVER approved of me getting ANY piercings aside from the 2 I already have. So i agreed to go on September 4th (five days after my 18th birthday), but I realized if I went that day, I would be screwed for my first days of school, I won't be able to talk to my professors or classmates, Id be in an unbelievable amount of pain which won't allow me to focus so on & so forth. Also, I can't get it on my birthday because it's a Sunday followed by a week of classes, whereas the 4th is a Friday which gives me about 3 days to allow some getting used to. But now I've decided to go this Thursday, August 13th. Now, the "plan" is to hide it, which is mission impossible, but I mean, I've rarely if ever rebelled against my mom, and this may just be the first & last time I will. If I get it this week, I will have a perfect two weeks to allow it to heal and to fully get used to it and mope & watnot :) Ahh Wish me luck!
Also, after going to an all girls school for four years, I've seemed to have had adapted a "lesbianic" demeanor? Which definitely needs to change because I have no intentions of being with girls. But being in an atmosphere with guys all over again is something I look forward to the most! Deprivation was a punishment, and now I'll be replenished all over again :]
Lastly, there's a lot of people that I just want to let go of. College will give me a freedom that I was never allowed to have in high school. I'm hoping my time will be completely occupied, whether it be social or educational. There's just some people that I honestly give too much of myself to, only to receive minimal in return. What better excuse to have than college?
Aside from that, I hope my bonds with my "real" friends only strengthens. There are a handful of girls that I love dearly & would do absolutely anything for, and I genuinely hope that college will not change us at all.
Lately, it's starting to really dawn on me that I'm actually going to college. Before I was all nonchalant about it, and now I'm like woah! But there's also several things I would like to change about myself, my lifestyle, my friends...
First off, I have been DYING to get my tongue pierced. My mother has NEVER approved of me getting ANY piercings aside from the 2 I already have. So i agreed to go on September 4th (five days after my 18th birthday), but I realized if I went that day, I would be screwed for my first days of school, I won't be able to talk to my professors or classmates, Id be in an unbelievable amount of pain which won't allow me to focus so on & so forth. Also, I can't get it on my birthday because it's a Sunday followed by a week of classes, whereas the 4th is a Friday which gives me about 3 days to allow some getting used to. But now I've decided to go this Thursday, August 13th. Now, the "plan" is to hide it, which is mission impossible, but I mean, I've rarely if ever rebelled against my mom, and this may just be the first & last time I will. If I get it this week, I will have a perfect two weeks to allow it to heal and to fully get used to it and mope & watnot :) Ahh Wish me luck!
Also, after going to an all girls school for four years, I've seemed to have had adapted a "lesbianic" demeanor? Which definitely needs to change because I have no intentions of being with girls. But being in an atmosphere with guys all over again is something I look forward to the most! Deprivation was a punishment, and now I'll be replenished all over again :]
Lastly, there's a lot of people that I just want to let go of. College will give me a freedom that I was never allowed to have in high school. I'm hoping my time will be completely occupied, whether it be social or educational. There's just some people that I honestly give too much of myself to, only to receive minimal in return. What better excuse to have than college?
Aside from that, I hope my bonds with my "real" friends only strengthens. There are a handful of girls that I love dearly & would do absolutely anything for, and I genuinely hope that college will not change us at all.
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