I know you're probably thinking my blog looks like shit, & I completely agree 100%. Just wanted to let you know I have no idea what I'm doing with it, so bare with me.
That was a public service announcement, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Me, Myself, & I
I feel like compiling a bunch of random facts about myself. So here goes:
Numero Uno: I loveee Rihanna, with a passion!
Two: I can find ANYTHING in my room only if there is a mess. If it's organized and everything is "put in it's place", then it takes me forever to find that place.
Tres: Don't mind playing sports, but i HATE watching them.
Four: I am horrible with children, even though i have two younger brothers.
Five: I'm the only girl out of four kids.
Six: I can be ready right on time, but I always waste 10-15 minutes looking for my keys, and mind you, most of the time the keys are right in my hand.
Seben: LOVE Red Lobster ! Not a big fan of Olive Garden nor Applebees (except for their desserts).
Eight: Even though I live in NYC, I've only been to 42nd I'd say maybe seven times in my whole lifetime, & that was all in the past two years...
Nine: I don't really have a favorite color, but I don't like green or yellow.
Ten: Cannot wait for the day that I can buy myself a cute little black honda coup.
Eweven: I cry everytime I see The Lion King.
Twelve: I'm considering pursuing a career working with pets, mind you, I think I'm allergic to cats...
Trece: Two things I hate most having to explain to people:
a) my age - I know I look like I'm 14, but it's sooo annoying going back and forth with people who refuse to believe I'm actually an adult.
& b) the bags under my eyes - it is a GENE/TRAIT whatever you want to call it! I was born with them, my mom & grandmother have it... so I hate people who like to advise me on getting more sleep when in reality it has nada to do with that.
& last one, I LOVE AGATHA CHRISTIE. I think I've read about 75% of her novels, now I'm trying to get into Stephen King. See how that goes... I'll stop here for now :)
Numero Uno: I loveee Rihanna, with a passion!
Two: I can find ANYTHING in my room only if there is a mess. If it's organized and everything is "put in it's place", then it takes me forever to find that place.
Tres: Don't mind playing sports, but i HATE watching them.
Four: I am horrible with children, even though i have two younger brothers.
Five: I'm the only girl out of four kids.
Six: I can be ready right on time, but I always waste 10-15 minutes looking for my keys, and mind you, most of the time the keys are right in my hand.
Seben: LOVE Red Lobster ! Not a big fan of Olive Garden nor Applebees (except for their desserts).
Eight: Even though I live in NYC, I've only been to 42nd I'd say maybe seven times in my whole lifetime, & that was all in the past two years...
Nine: I don't really have a favorite color, but I don't like green or yellow.
Ten: Cannot wait for the day that I can buy myself a cute little black honda coup.
Eweven: I cry everytime I see The Lion King.
Twelve: I'm considering pursuing a career working with pets, mind you, I think I'm allergic to cats...
Trece: Two things I hate most having to explain to people:
a) my age - I know I look like I'm 14, but it's sooo annoying going back and forth with people who refuse to believe I'm actually an adult.
& b) the bags under my eyes - it is a GENE/TRAIT whatever you want to call it! I was born with them, my mom & grandmother have it... so I hate people who like to advise me on getting more sleep when in reality it has nada to do with that.
& last one, I LOVE AGATHA CHRISTIE. I think I've read about 75% of her novels, now I'm trying to get into Stephen King. See how that goes... I'll stop here for now :)
Sunday, January 3, 2010
"The New Girl"
If there's one thing I hate more than anything, it's being The New Girl.
The New Girl is my official name for I don't know how long at my job. Not excited about that at all, kind of wish I could jump forward a couple months to the point where I feel comfortable being myself. I've heard myself being referred to as The New Girl, or I've heard "jokes" along the lines of "if anything, we'll just blame it on The New Girl". Hardy har harrr !
I feel like listing all the advice/sayings/ or just words I've heard coworkers say thus far ( & just a quick side note, I make copies all day, color/black & white, 3 hole punched, stapled, double sided, binded (spiral, comb, & cover) laminated, mounted, trimmed, cut... I could be here all day going into depth w. that):
1. NEVER TALK BACK TO A CUSTOMER. no matter how rude, how much they curse you out, how much they blame you for the high prices, how many paperclips or coins they decide to throw at you, do.not.talk.back.
2. Don't do what I do (what my supervisor says after breaking rule #1)
3. Never talk to any of the guys, they will try to take advantage of The New Girl
4. See that guy over there? Yea, the one that asked you a bunch of questions about the prices? He threatened to call the police because of 6 dollars he didn't feel like paying... now he's testing your waters, good luck.
or
See that lady that was crying hysterically in the corner? She asked to use the phone once and stayed on it for more than half an hour. DO NOT let customers use the phone.
5. Coworkers favorite line to tell me, "I would never work in your 'department', fuck that" or "I want to see what she does when a customer decides to curse The New Girl out" or even, "You haven't quit yet???"
It's really not so much the job itself, but I keep hearing little things about customers & their impatience, and how clean&sparkly their mouths are... REALLY looking forward to that :]
The New Girl is my official name for I don't know how long at my job. Not excited about that at all, kind of wish I could jump forward a couple months to the point where I feel comfortable being myself. I've heard myself being referred to as The New Girl, or I've heard "jokes" along the lines of "if anything, we'll just blame it on The New Girl". Hardy har harrr !
I feel like listing all the advice/sayings/ or just words I've heard coworkers say thus far ( & just a quick side note, I make copies all day, color/black & white, 3 hole punched, stapled, double sided, binded (spiral, comb, & cover) laminated, mounted, trimmed, cut... I could be here all day going into depth w. that):
1. NEVER TALK BACK TO A CUSTOMER. no matter how rude, how much they curse you out, how much they blame you for the high prices, how many paperclips or coins they decide to throw at you, do.not.talk.back.
2. Don't do what I do (what my supervisor says after breaking rule #1)
3. Never talk to any of the guys, they will try to take advantage of The New Girl
4. See that guy over there? Yea, the one that asked you a bunch of questions about the prices? He threatened to call the police because of 6 dollars he didn't feel like paying... now he's testing your waters, good luck.
or
See that lady that was crying hysterically in the corner? She asked to use the phone once and stayed on it for more than half an hour. DO NOT let customers use the phone.
5. Coworkers favorite line to tell me, "I would never work in your 'department', fuck that" or "I want to see what she does when a customer decides to curse The New Girl out" or even, "You haven't quit yet???"
It's really not so much the job itself, but I keep hearing little things about customers & their impatience, and how clean&sparkly their mouths are... REALLY looking forward to that :]
Friday, January 1, 2010
Recap...
I did go on a bit of a blog break, since my life is very uneventful, but I've actually decided to get back into the swing of things, especially since I have more time on my hands.
For one, I realized that there are certain people in my life who i thought made me happy, when in reality they weren't. Letting go of them has attributed to one of the reasons for my happyness. I'm referring to someone who I used to believe I couldn't live without, who was like a brother to me, a shoulder to lean on...bla bla bla. But I've realized otherwise, I made HIM happy. If anything, I pride myself on how good a friend I am; I really really look out for my friends and have their best interest at heart, but with him it was different. He walked over me enough times, and this last time I realized it was the last straw. I know what I deserve and what I don't deserve, if this was a year ago, I probably would have shrugged it off and stayed friends with him. But I deserve better than that & I KNOW IT! (Just a bit of advice, if there's a friend of yours who has stayed by your side through A LOT, HOLD-ON-TO-THEM! do not let anything get in the way of your last hope, it makes no sense to allow stupidity to ever get in the way of something that's so real. Everyone knows at least ONE person, hold on tight...)
Onto other things, I finally got a job :) After months of doing long ass boring applications I finally got one. So happy about that. It's not the BEST job in the world, but it's something so that's good enough. My theme song is no longer "She ain't got no money in the bank" cha chingggg :D
Also, I shitted out a mighty beautiful 3.7 GPA, shocking I know I know. I'm enjoying it now because next semester classes are going to KILL ME, which basically means that that beauty will be going down. FML.
& lastly, my love life is still nonexistent, but I'm ay okay with that. I have so many things to be happy about that this is not even a bother. I don't think I've ever been this happy when I was single. Interestingly enough, I haven't even been looking. Nows the time when I should be dolling myself up and all that garbage, but I'm actually sitting back and not caring for it.
Honestly, it's just weird how I've changed. I used to be so depressed, walk around outside with a smile on my face, come home and be upset, but for some reason I have yet to find things to be upset about. Not that I want any, it's just weird how happy I feel, genuinely happy. How gay right? :) And I used to be extremely insecure with myself, whereas nowadays I'm actually starting to realize my beauty. Me telling myself I'm pretty, and BELIEVING it for once in my life, well... it's about Goddamn time.
For one, I realized that there are certain people in my life who i thought made me happy, when in reality they weren't. Letting go of them has attributed to one of the reasons for my happyness. I'm referring to someone who I used to believe I couldn't live without, who was like a brother to me, a shoulder to lean on...bla bla bla. But I've realized otherwise, I made HIM happy. If anything, I pride myself on how good a friend I am; I really really look out for my friends and have their best interest at heart, but with him it was different. He walked over me enough times, and this last time I realized it was the last straw. I know what I deserve and what I don't deserve, if this was a year ago, I probably would have shrugged it off and stayed friends with him. But I deserve better than that & I KNOW IT! (Just a bit of advice, if there's a friend of yours who has stayed by your side through A LOT, HOLD-ON-TO-THEM! do not let anything get in the way of your last hope, it makes no sense to allow stupidity to ever get in the way of something that's so real. Everyone knows at least ONE person, hold on tight...)
Onto other things, I finally got a job :) After months of doing long ass boring applications I finally got one. So happy about that. It's not the BEST job in the world, but it's something so that's good enough. My theme song is no longer "She ain't got no money in the bank" cha chingggg :D
Also, I shitted out a mighty beautiful 3.7 GPA, shocking I know I know. I'm enjoying it now because next semester classes are going to KILL ME, which basically means that that beauty will be going down. FML.
& lastly, my love life is still nonexistent, but I'm ay okay with that. I have so many things to be happy about that this is not even a bother. I don't think I've ever been this happy when I was single. Interestingly enough, I haven't even been looking. Nows the time when I should be dolling myself up and all that garbage, but I'm actually sitting back and not caring for it.
Honestly, it's just weird how I've changed. I used to be so depressed, walk around outside with a smile on my face, come home and be upset, but for some reason I have yet to find things to be upset about. Not that I want any, it's just weird how happy I feel, genuinely happy. How gay right? :) And I used to be extremely insecure with myself, whereas nowadays I'm actually starting to realize my beauty. Me telling myself I'm pretty, and BELIEVING it for once in my life, well... it's about Goddamn time.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Acknowledgement.
This is probably one of the most personal blogs I've done & that I'll ever do, but I have a lot I need to get off my chest, so bear w. me
I've come to the understanding that I AM one of those girls you can classify as a bitch.
I AM one of those girls who will ded you in front of all your friends, & act like nothing happened.
I AM one of those girls, that at times, you can call me emotionless. When it comes to guys at least, cuz quite frankly I get into moods that I just don't care ( Not ALL the time, but it happens). I get into these mood swings where I'm just in the mood to curse someone the fuck out, all 5 feet 2 inches of myself puts all my energy into that, & it's always innocent bystanders that get hurt.
In one of my crazy psycho rampages, a friend of mine hit me up & made what would have been a funny comment on any other day, but this day it came off as offensive. Today, I cant remember what it is that he said, but I took it & ran. Mind you, this guy is suuuuch a sweatheart, a true friend, one whose willing to give&take advice. Me&him were close friends for what felt like forever, and it seemed as if we got into random arguments on the regular. But he would always hit me up the next day saying "I re-read that convo, and I wanna apologize, my fault, I see what you mean"& of course things would go back to normal...except this time.
When he hit me up the next day, I was still in that bad mood, and told him off completely, and he was understanding & decided to give me space... months worth of space. For months I've been selfish, havent heard or spoken to him at all. Today I stroll on myspace when I see his status say "R.I.P. lil sis, imy & ily" ...and just reading that my heart broke.
I was fully aware that his sister was in the hospital, I was fully aware of how much she meant to him & how close they were, and I never hit him up asking what happened, if he needed to talk, if she's gonna be okay. THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS WANTING TO DO SOMETHING WHEN ITS TOO LATE !
I KNOW that I failed him as a friend, that I SHOULD HAVE been there for him, even if it was only to talk, who knows how much of an IMPACT that would have made. I don't even know this girl, and I cried as if she were my own sister...
I just hope its not too late to try & pick up the pieces now...
Seriously, learn from my mistakes.
I've come to the understanding that I AM one of those girls you can classify as a bitch.
I AM one of those girls who will ded you in front of all your friends, & act like nothing happened.
I AM one of those girls, that at times, you can call me emotionless. When it comes to guys at least, cuz quite frankly I get into moods that I just don't care ( Not ALL the time, but it happens). I get into these mood swings where I'm just in the mood to curse someone the fuck out, all 5 feet 2 inches of myself puts all my energy into that, & it's always innocent bystanders that get hurt.
In one of my crazy psycho rampages, a friend of mine hit me up & made what would have been a funny comment on any other day, but this day it came off as offensive. Today, I cant remember what it is that he said, but I took it & ran. Mind you, this guy is suuuuch a sweatheart, a true friend, one whose willing to give&take advice. Me&him were close friends for what felt like forever, and it seemed as if we got into random arguments on the regular. But he would always hit me up the next day saying "I re-read that convo, and I wanna apologize, my fault, I see what you mean"& of course things would go back to normal...except this time.
When he hit me up the next day, I was still in that bad mood, and told him off completely, and he was understanding & decided to give me space... months worth of space. For months I've been selfish, havent heard or spoken to him at all. Today I stroll on myspace when I see his status say "R.I.P. lil sis, imy & ily" ...and just reading that my heart broke.
I was fully aware that his sister was in the hospital, I was fully aware of how much she meant to him & how close they were, and I never hit him up asking what happened, if he needed to talk, if she's gonna be okay. THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS WANTING TO DO SOMETHING WHEN ITS TOO LATE !
I KNOW that I failed him as a friend, that I SHOULD HAVE been there for him, even if it was only to talk, who knows how much of an IMPACT that would have made. I don't even know this girl, and I cried as if she were my own sister...
I just hope its not too late to try & pick up the pieces now...
Seriously, learn from my mistakes.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
& I have a confession to make!
I've come to the realization that I am one of those girls...
...that likes jerks.
DUN DUN DUUUUN!
& no it's not cause they're jerks, it's just cause to me it's their way of showing they're playing hard to get. Now I have no respect for guys that are assholes, & I feel like yes, there is a difference between assholes & jerks. Assholes are the type of guys that consistently disrespect girls, pretend to like the girl with no intentions outside of a bed, or just talk smack about all girls in the universe. They're the ones who are PROUD of their lifestyle & don't care if everyone & their mother knows it. Jerks, on the other hand, can pretend to be assholes only to "fit in", when deep down you can see they're soft romantic guys. They're the type of guys that are borderline sweetheart/jerk. They're the mysterious ones that you just want to find out more...
So whether that makes me one of those dumb girls that falls for guys that are "players", "conceited" & "full of themselves"... then I hope you understand the reason behind the madness.
...that likes jerks.
DUN DUN DUUUUN!
& no it's not cause they're jerks, it's just cause to me it's their way of showing they're playing hard to get. Now I have no respect for guys that are assholes, & I feel like yes, there is a difference between assholes & jerks. Assholes are the type of guys that consistently disrespect girls, pretend to like the girl with no intentions outside of a bed, or just talk smack about all girls in the universe. They're the ones who are PROUD of their lifestyle & don't care if everyone & their mother knows it. Jerks, on the other hand, can pretend to be assholes only to "fit in", when deep down you can see they're soft romantic guys. They're the type of guys that are borderline sweetheart/jerk. They're the mysterious ones that you just want to find out more...
So whether that makes me one of those dumb girls that falls for guys that are "players", "conceited" & "full of themselves"... then I hope you understand the reason behind the madness.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Daily Nonsense...
It has not even been a month, & I feel like I've been here forever. I've had tons of quizzes and already read 3 books and on my way to reading 2 more by the end of this week. I'm sitting here & my eyes just burn, (my eyebrows too but that's cuz I just threaded them). I can't say I'm exhausted, but I am tired... and what's interesting is that I want a job, knowing that I have quite enough on my plate.
I'm currently listening to a very degrading song of women (Yomo - descara), it's a bunch of nothing, but I can't stop playing it, I'm obsessed with the beat. I haven't been to a party since July, & that was outdoors which is always a bit awkward. I hear/read so many stories of my friends who are dorming, and I envy them so much. I would have loved to go away and try new experiences, and party. I feel like everything I've done is such a waste, I did at least 8 scholarships, & got rejected from all of them. The school that I ideally wanted to attend didn't give me a dime of financial aid & that was that.
I'm 18, look like I'm 15, living under the strict rules of my mom, and literally watching all my hopes go down the drain. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to, and a part of me wishes my dad still had his place so I could be able to feel independence...or something of that sort.
I'ma still give it time, nothing else I can really do... right?
I'm currently listening to a very degrading song of women (Yomo - descara), it's a bunch of nothing, but I can't stop playing it, I'm obsessed with the beat. I haven't been to a party since July, & that was outdoors which is always a bit awkward. I hear/read so many stories of my friends who are dorming, and I envy them so much. I would have loved to go away and try new experiences, and party. I feel like everything I've done is such a waste, I did at least 8 scholarships, & got rejected from all of them. The school that I ideally wanted to attend didn't give me a dime of financial aid & that was that.
I'm 18, look like I'm 15, living under the strict rules of my mom, and literally watching all my hopes go down the drain. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to, and a part of me wishes my dad still had his place so I could be able to feel independence...or something of that sort.
I'ma still give it time, nothing else I can really do... right?
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