Acknowledgement.

This is probably one of the most personal blogs I've done & that I'll ever do, but I have a lot I need to get off my chest, so bear w. me

I've come to the understanding that I AM one of those girls you can classify as a bitch.

I AM one of those girls who will ded you in front of all your friends, & act like nothing happened.

I AM one of those girls, that at times, you can call me emotionless. When it comes to guys at least, cuz quite frankly I get into moods that I just don't care ( Not ALL the time, but it happens). I get into these mood swings where I'm just in the mood to curse someone the fuck out, all 5 feet 2 inches of myself puts all my energy into that, & it's always innocent bystanders that get hurt.

In one of my crazy psycho rampages, a friend of mine hit me up & made what would have been a funny comment on any other day, but this day it came off as offensive. Today, I cant remember what it is that he said, but I took it & ran. Mind you, this guy is suuuuch a sweatheart, a true friend, one whose willing to give&take advice. Me&him were close friends for what felt like forever, and it seemed as if we got into random arguments on the regular. But he would always hit me up the next day saying "I re-read that convo, and I wanna apologize, my fault, I see what you mean"& of course things would go back to normal...except this time.

When he hit me up the next day, I was still in that bad mood, and told him off completely, and he was understanding & decided to give me space... months worth of space. For months I've been selfish, havent heard or spoken to him at all. Today I stroll on myspace when I see his status say "R.I.P. lil sis, imy & ily" ...and just reading that my heart broke.

I was fully aware that his sister was in the hospital, I was fully aware of how much she meant to him & how close they were, and I never hit him up asking what happened, if he needed to talk, if she's gonna be okay. THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS WANTING TO DO SOMETHING WHEN ITS TOO LATE !

I KNOW that I failed him as a friend, that I SHOULD HAVE been there for him, even if it was only to talk, who knows how much of an IMPACT that would have made. I don't even know this girl, and I cried as if she were my own sister...

I just hope its not too late to try & pick up the pieces now...
Seriously, learn from my mistakes.