It has not even been a month, & I feel like I've been here forever. I've had tons of quizzes and already read 3 books and on my way to reading 2 more by the end of this week. I'm sitting here & my eyes just burn, (my eyebrows too but that's cuz I just threaded them). I can't say I'm exhausted, but I am tired... and what's interesting is that I want a job, knowing that I have quite enough on my plate.
I'm currently listening to a very degrading song of women (Yomo - descara), it's a bunch of nothing, but I can't stop playing it, I'm obsessed with the beat. I haven't been to a party since July, & that was outdoors which is always a bit awkward. I hear/read so many stories of my friends who are dorming, and I envy them so much. I would have loved to go away and try new experiences, and party. I feel like everything I've done is such a waste, I did at least 8 scholarships, & got rejected from all of them. The school that I ideally wanted to attend didn't give me a dime of financial aid & that was that.
I'm 18, look like I'm 15, living under the strict rules of my mom, and literally watching all my hopes go down the drain. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to, and a part of me wishes my dad still had his place so I could be able to feel independence...or something of that sort.
I'ma still give it time, nothing else I can really do... right?
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